I'm Back

I've missed this outlet immensely ... but the things in my heart and the things I'd think about writing sometimes, well frequently, involve other people, and how do I write my thoughts about others. So I didn't write ... but I think it's been a bad mistake. Writing for those first two years of my widow journey were so helpful, so therapeutic, so enlightening to myself that when I thought I was "better" I stopped. Hmmmmmm not sure that was wise. When I was ready to write it included others like my sweet William, or the two years of illness my sister Barb suffered through and the journey of a caregiver. Or how life has changed ... somethings I've loved, some things I have hated.

So today ... today I am writing about my birthday, July 8. I've never really looked forward to my birthday. As a little girl there were too many years without a birthday cake, cuz it was too hot to heat the house up with the oven. As a little girl sometimes my birthday felt sandwiched into the 4th of July ... we were all together so let's just celebrate it then. As a new wife, married to the man of my dreams, we were too broke for him to send flowers, buy diamonds or jewels, and then that habit stuck. Then things started getting much better ... and then I became a widow.

My kids have always been generous and sweet for my birthday ... they recall the years of me getting a garden weasel, a pocket knife with a light on it, and some other memorable gifts. BUT ... For my birthday in 2013 I received a blue baby sleeper from Brandon and Blair ... that was pretty incredible. Last year Nolan took me shopping to my favorite quilt shop, he paid the bill. April frequently gives me a gift certificate to my favorite online quilt shop, sends flowers, picks out an elegant perfume ... so I am and have always been blessed ... just some times the self centered, I want what I want litte girl comes out.

BIRTHDAYS ... Birthdays with Bill Kyle, my sweet "boy"friend ... he's like a little boy when it comes to giving gifts. He cannot wait. I've gotten some spectacular gifts from him, but like with my kids and family ... it's not really the "gift" so much as the thought and love put with it. So this year, let me tell you about my birthday gift ... it started on:

WEDNESDAY - with a beautiful little box from his favorite jeweler. He couldn't wait until Saturday, he picked it out, he wanted me to have it. So I opened it, a little hesitant, it was such a small square box ... EARRINGS :) I teased him that my birthday wasn't for two more days. He smiled, laughed and said this is it!

THURSDAY - While having lunch with him at work I received a beautiful, beautiful bouquet of flowers ... roses, white double stock, Gerbera daisies, and carnations ... beautiful! I joked with him again and said, "I can't wait for tomorrow's surprise" ... he said there isn't any more sweetie.

FRIDAY - Birthday cake at work, beautifully decorated with flowers ... and ice cream! Surprise #3 ... ... He does this for all of his employees :)

So I told him I could not wait for my real birthday surprise ... he shook his head, and said, "Really, there are no more gifts or surprises."

SATURDAY - My real birthday! First off, my Omaha family of 4 drove home late Friday night ... that was a wonderful surprise! Second ... there was a parade on my birthday (Ok ... so this was for July Jubilee, but it did go right past my house) ... THIRD ... his grandson and son, Liam and Todd, came up for a swimming pool party with my grandson and kids. AND ... AND ... He worked with my kids and surprised me with a great gift ... a family photo shoot, planned and on the calendar in September ... AND ... AND ... AND ... his beautiful girls came to my house and we had a huge "family" birthday dinner. Complete with cake and all. The grandsons, Liam and Wyatt, played baseball with the big "kids" ... Bill and Brandon cooked dinner ... and I just glowed in the joy of being with many of the ones I love most.

Few women find the man of their dreams ... I found mine, shared almost 31 years with him as his wife. In a sudden accident and breath stopping moment he left this world. Two years later I found another. As my sister Barb said, two years ago, "It's not fair that you get to have two." I agree it's not fair, but damn I'm lucky!

Thank you to facebook friends and family for all the birthday love. Thank you to my friends and kids for the wonderful gift, phone calls, texts, and hugs. Thank you to Bill's kids for spending your Saturday night with me. And thank you to sweet William ... it was a glorious birthday. I love you all!

Until soon,
Vickie