Yesterday started out so "normal" ... then my sweet friend called, the news of a young man's death heavy on her heart. His wife, Tressa, my daughter's friend and classmate. My thoughts are a jumble, my heart aches for her, her children, his mother, their family ... but selfishly, I also am pulled back to 10 weeks ago. The feelings so raw, just below the surface.
Today I kept thinking about what Tressa's probably doing, but her job a little harder with three young babies at home. How does a mom help daddies little girl or daddies little man understand? At 50 it was hard to think about funeral plans, the service, visitation, and all that it entails, how does a 29 year old find her way. She shouldn't have to.
There's been so much tragedy ... it's tested my faith. The questions that surface: If God has a plan, why would this accident happen? If God has power, how could my kids, Tressa's kids, be without their daddy? If God knows when our time is up, why would he leave some of the miserable (bad) people on this planet, and take a kind, strong, amazing man? Is God's plan for me to be alone? Is God's plan for a 29 year old to find her way alone, parenting 3 young children? I have faith, I believe that God has plans for me, plans to prosper and not harm me ... I do believe it, I preach it ... but I struggle with it too.
God understands our pain, he's felt it. Thank goodness for his amazing grace as I find my way through this. My heart is aching for Tressa and her children ... the hardest part of my 10 weeks is watching my children greive and know I have no way to help them.
Praying for peace, understanding, and patience as I travel this unknown path.
Until soon,
vic
tears for you all, Vickie.
ReplyDeleteOh Vickie, so well said! I sit here sobbing as I read this and 8 mo old Mila is sticking her fingers in my eyes, I thank God for a baby to snuggle but feel so cheated that the kids don't get to grow up with their very special Daddy.
ReplyDeleteTressa's Mom
Vickie, God has a plan for you now! Your words, your thoughts, your wanderings are very well put. Your words can help others sort out these horrible times in their lives. You are called to be the voice for them so they can find away to heal .Just putting your feelings out there you do it so well, so others know that they are not alone at. Words can be very healing!
ReplyDeleteJeanie G